Today I had a fight with a girlfriend and I am unsure whether or not I was too hard on her. When I was younger, I used to let things go easily. I didn’t think too much into anything, which is probably a bad thing as many people also took advantage of that. But that also meant I wasn’t angry for a very long time. Now that I’m older and I’ve matured with a few life achievements under my belt (becoming a mum), I am feistier and feel the need to protect and stand up for not only myself but also for my family and friends.
I can’t quite work out which is better. Should I be more free-spirited and care less or should I put more time and effort into speaking up for what I feel is correct, which means that I’ll be upset and miserable for a whole lot longer.
I was bullied growing up. I learnt to be scared of confrontations, to let people treat me however they wanted and to let a lot of things slide. Deep down, I felt the need to say something but the fear of consequences held me back. I learnt to just take it.
Well, no more. I’ve changed. After going through the intense pain of child birth, nothing else in life seems hard. Something just clicks in a woman’s mind when they see their baby for the first time. A silent promise is made that we will always protect, nourish and love them. Caring for them during their most vulnerable and dependent first few months only strengthens this feeling. Nothing is ever too hard, too much or too tiring anymore. Our patience is tested every single day. We are pushed to limits almost daily that we didn’t think we could handle. We become superheroes.
I do like these new set of skills as I feel I can unleash all my feelings and truly let the other person know how I feel. I’m not a bitch about it, just straight forward and to the point. But if anyone were to cross that line and actually did hurt the people I love, God forbid, then I am a bitch. The claws come out.
I know if anyone ever bullies my daughter (or any child for that matter), then I know I will say something. I won’t be scared of confrontation. I won’t let people be treated badly. I won’t let that slide. I cannot witness a fight without saying anything. I cannot keep my mouth shut basically.
You see, something changed within me when I became a mother. Something maternal and instinctive woke up inside me and I would do anything to defend my family.
Do you feel the same? How has motherhood changed you?