Unwanted Baby Advice

Over the weekend, we attended a family BBQ to celebrate a birthday. These gatherings occur several times a year over other celebrations, Easter, Christmas and Chinese New Year. Ever since I fell pregnant with Madeleine, we get a surplus of unwanted baby advice where we’ve had to force a nod and smile politely.‎

‎‎Our cousin has a daughter who’s just 2 weeks older than Madeleine which is great for us when exchanging baby stories but unfortunate when the comparisons start amongst family members. I hate it when people compare my baby to other babies! It makes my blood boil. ‘But the other baby is standing already…’, ‘How come Madeleine looks so much smaller’ and ‘she must be calcium deficient if she only has 4 teeth’ are some we’ve had to hear. I wanted to scream at them. Every baby is different. Just like adults. It doesn’t mean they are stronger, weaker, lacking or underdeveloped.

There is always baby advice given when you’re pregnant, or just given birth, or you’re becoming a mum for the 5th time. Sometimes it’s great advice, however sometimes it’s something I’d rather ignore.

Here are some of my tips to keep you calm and walking away without losing your cool:

1. Kindly nod. I find that if you disagree, this is usually seen as an insult and it causes more conflict. Which will probably make you more furious.

2. Smile to keep it civil. You’ll have to see them again so you don’t want to make it awkward!

3. If all else fails, just walk away before you say something you can’t take back!

Some of the excuses I’ve used:

1. Things have changed now in the 21st century…

2. Every baby is different…

3. But the doctor said so… (I love this one, it usually does the trick!)

4. Where did you get that information from? Is it scientifically proven?

And lastly a few of the ridiculous advice I’ve received:

1. If you pull your baby’s legs everyday, it’ll make them taller and they’ll walk faster

2. You shouldn’t wash your hair for a month after birth otherwise all your hair will fall out

3. If you give babies more milk, it’ll make their teeth come out faster

Yes, it makes my eyes roll every single time!

6 thoughts on “Unwanted Baby Advice

  1. Having seen the results of my mother-in-laws parenting, I listened politely to her advice, and left it with her. I also found most people who offered me their unwanted wisdom were people who had no children themselves. I was told never to lie my child on his back because he’d swallow his tongue, never to feed my child fish as the oils would make him sick, and was criticised by so many people for allowing him to play with ‘girl’s’ toys and carry a doll around with him.

    1. I hate it when people, especially those without kids, give advice or worse, think they can do it better!!! I always tell them off now, I can’t bear to hear it anymore! It’s so funny the advice we get given. I am glad that we have access to the correct information and know what is right for our babies! 😊😊

  2. It’s tough because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.. but I think it’s important to say that not all advice is valid 😉 I’m glad you’ve figured out a way to be polite and just nod, even if you’re not taking the advice, Carol 🙂 Smart woman you are~

    1. Haha thanks Christy! My culture has many advice that’s not valid! I’ve learnt to not say anything otherwise it just ends up making everybody upset! Best to stay calm 😊😊😊

    1. Yep! It’s very annoying! Especially when you get advice or worse, judged by people who don’t have kids!!!!!!

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