Over the weekend, we attended a family BBQ to celebrate a birthday. These gatherings occur several times a year over other celebrations, Easter, Christmas and Chinese New Year. Ever since I fell pregnant with Madeleine, we get a surplus of unwanted baby advice where we’ve had to force a nod and smile politely.
Our cousin has a daughter who’s just 2 weeks older than Madeleine which is great for us when exchanging baby stories but unfortunate when the comparisons start amongst family members. I hate it when people compare my baby to other babies! It makes my blood boil. ‘But the other baby is standing already…’, ‘How come Madeleine looks so much smaller’ and ‘she must be calcium deficient if she only has 4 teeth’ are some we’ve had to hear. I wanted to scream at them. Every baby is different. Just like adults. It doesn’t mean they are stronger, weaker, lacking or underdeveloped.
There is always baby advice given when you’re pregnant, or just given birth, or you’re becoming a mum for the 5th time. Sometimes it’s great advice, however sometimes it’s something I’d rather ignore.
Here are some of my tips to keep you calm and walking away without losing your cool:
1. Kindly nod. I find that if you disagree, this is usually seen as an insult and it causes more conflict. Which will probably make you more furious.
2. Smile to keep it civil. You’ll have to see them again so you don’t want to make it awkward!
3. If all else fails, just walk away before you say something you can’t take back!
Some of the excuses I’ve used:
1. Things have changed now in the 21st century…
2. Every baby is different…
3. But the doctor said so… (I love this one, it usually does the trick!)
4. Where did you get that information from? Is it scientifically proven?
And lastly a few of the ridiculous advice I’ve received:
1. If you pull your baby’s legs everyday, it’ll make them taller and they’ll walk faster
2. You shouldn’t wash your hair for a month after birth otherwise all your hair will fall out
3. If you give babies more milk, it’ll make their teeth come out faster
Yes, it makes my eyes roll every single time!